as an alternative, i propose:
Kara- you used to live in a condo in Woodhaven with your husband S#*%e. You have some wonderful looking lips! You have moved out of Woodhaven since then- I'm not sure where though. But if you read this contact me. Once again you have great looking lips. I would like to taste them after a few drinks!!
There are lots of cute girls at Home Depot, and we all help! We can't remember what each of you was looking for. Please be more specific.
Just wanted to say that after that exhilarating ride from St. Louis, I really really would like to get to know you more.
During the ride it seemed that you checked me out a few times. I could tell by the bulge in your "Daisy Dukes" that you were into me. Hopefully you saw my bulge and was into me too.
I also want you to know that I couldn't resist the urge when we were passing through Ann Arbor (of all places) so I went into the bathroom on the bus, and "took care of business."
I couldn't help it, and I also apologize to anyone who had to use the bathroom after me as that was one serious multiple spurting orgasm!
I hope you see this.
You are the "lady" (singing Kenny Rogers) of my dreams...
Send me an email telling me what I was wearing or something so I know it is you...
THANKS FOR A GREAT WEEKEND R
It is a pity all of these gorgeous summer feet in sandals that have to go without being pampered and spoiled
Imagine just sitting back and allowing a foot admirer massaging--kissing--licking and enjoying your soft beautiful feet and after ward
spoiling them rotten and you go on your way until next time you need them appreciated
what a pity all of these missed connections that don't need to be
Hello it is me again I'm not on here to gossip what so ever I'm on here because I want you to know as well as the world that I'm in love with you and I can't hide it let alone stop it if you would just leave your man and come give me a chance my fealings grow stronger for you as time goes by come on craigslist sometime drop a line your bf don't need to know
from now on
please only IM and text me when we are in the same room
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
guilt—
is an amorphous monster that tends toward self-pity and who likes a self-piteous bastard?
HOW CAN YOU WHEN IT IS EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER
SEEN, HEARD, SMELLED, TASTED, TOUCHED & BEEN
probably i could use the dissolution of anything that i have held onto in order to maintain the semblance of an ordered and predictable world, not that this has been the case at any point anyway.
i'm not really brave enough to do it for myself
it's really there and you can see it—
this big thing in the moma with a big fancy gilded frame,
and you just go hahaha
i'm ridiculous and you're ridiculous and WE'RE RIDICULOUS
SO SERIOUS AND SO RIDICULOUS
HAHAHA
WE ARE ASIAN-AMERICAN YOUTH AND THESE
ARE STRANGE TIMES.
where is the question and what is the solution? we are always being torn from one womb or the other. how many points of view can a person stand to have before they cease to exist?
if you play into the illusion you have created for yourself how can you ever feel anything real?
this did not happen.
i don't know why i think things are such a big deal sometimes
Passing stranger! you do not know how longingly I look upon you,
You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking,
(it comes to me as of a dream,)
I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you,
All is recall'd as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured,
You grew up with me, were a boy with me or a girl with me,
I ate with you and slept with you, your body has become not yours only
nor left my body mine only,
You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass,
you take of my beard, breast, hands, in return
I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you when I sit alone
or wake at night alone,
I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again,
I am to see to it that I do not lose you.
maybe it's hard to say what you are, but defining yourself based on what you are not is such a cop out.
some days i wipe up a little dust and hair off the wide white porcelain sink before i go.
hey ego.
hey!
what's up.
oh not much... just around
yeah about that. why is that. why are you always around.
that's just what i do and it's not like you call me out on it.
well, fuck off
sorry..
no seriously, fuck off
*REVISION 1: in some cases, e.g. giving up because you are afraid or lazy, or you are so fearful and lazy that you become apathetic.
†REVISION 2: well what is winning and losing anyway? what is this obsession with triumph? winning has no deeper meaning than self-affirmation and i am not sure what losing is other than not winning.
After an 11-hour shift at work today, i just want to go home and relax. My cats wait for me by the door and yell for food. I crack open a can of 9Lives and split it 50/50 in bowls for them.
Cat #1 is a hog and finishes his half first.
*one minute passes*
Like a nuclear reactor meltdown, cat #1 pukes all of his half back into his bowl, licks his chops and saunters away. Mission accomplished, everything is fine.
*one more minute passes*
Cat #2 finishes his half, repositions himself in front of Cat #1's bowl, and eats all of Cat #1's regurgitation as well. Chops are licked.
*one more minute passes*
Cat #2 volcanoes half of his stomach back into the
same bowl.
Cat #1, probably wondering now why he is still hungry, goes and eats Cat #2's fresh spew (which contained Cat #1's original blowout).
It is somewhat surreal, as there is no left over cat puke, and the cats act as if nothing happened. In one way or another, dinner has been served.
If you don't try to hold your breath, exposure to space for half a minute or so is unlikely to produce permanent injury. Holding your breath is likely to damage your lungs, something scuba divers have to watch out for when ascending, and you'll have eardrum trouble if your Eustachian tubes are badly plugged up, but theory predicts—and animal experiments confirm—that otherwise, exposure to vacuum causes no immediate injury. You do not explode. Your blood does not boil. You do not freeze. You do not instantly lose consciousness.
Various minor problems (sunburn, possibly "the bends", certainly some [mild, reversible, painless] swelling of skin and underlying tissue) start after ten seconds or so. At some point you lose consciousness from lack of oxygen. Injuries accumulate. After perhaps one or two minutes, you're dying. The limits are not really known.
You do not explode and your blood does not boil because of the containing effect of your skin and circulatory system. You do not instantly freeze because, although the space environment is typically very cold, heat does not transfer away from a body quickly. Loss of consciousness occurs only after the body has depleted the supply of oxygen in the blood. If your skin is exposed to direct sunlight without any protection from its intense ultraviolet radiation, you can get a very bad sunburn.
At NASA's Manned Spacecraft Center (now renamed Johnson Space Center) we had a test subject accidentally exposed to a near vacuum (less than 1 psi) in an incident involving a leaking space suit in a vacuum chamber back in '65. He remained conscious for about 14 seconds, which is about the time it takes for O2 deprived blood to go from the lungs to the brain. The suit probably did not reach a hard vacuum, and we began repressurizing the chamber within 15 seconds. The subject regained consciousness at around 15,000 feet equivalent altitude. The subject later reported that he could feel and hear the air leaking out, and his last conscious memory was of the water on his tongue beginning to boil.
AND BLEEDING FROM IT
AND HEALING SO I CAN DO IT AGAIN
I ENJOY
HAVING DISAGREEMENTS
AND BEING IN UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS
I WILL
LOVE AND HATE
AND WHEN OTHERS LOVE AND HATE ME I WILL CHERISH IT
EVEN IF IT IS ONLY FOR 10 MINUTES AND I AM NOTHING AFTER
BECAUSE IF YOU ARE NOT LOVED OR HATED EVEN IF ONLY BY YOURSELF THEN YOU ARE NOTHING ANYWAY
I WANT ALL OF THIS BECAUSE IT IS THE ONLY TIME I DO NOT FEEL LIKE I AM STRAWBERRY-JAMMED INSIDE OF SOME MASON JAR AND THESE ARE THE TIMES THAT I AM AWARE OF SOMETHING THAT EXISTS BEYOND MYSELF AND THAT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE.
your therapist might invite you to lay down on this divan which could be a velvet red or leather black, and then he might tell you that it's easy to forget that there are these things called resolutions when you are entrenched in a hazy world of obliteration caused by these other things called problems and your therapist would be right
…then he gently set his glass of milk on the table and smiled, "i like to think that i'm a modest man making a modest living, and it's not that i'm not grateful for what i have every day—you know that. but i want to be the best at everything i do and have fun. is that too much to ask?"
BUT:
i am hopeful and alive because i am sure that there are at least good answers
i am breathing oxygen into my lungs and little red blood cells are carrying this oxygen to the rest of my body and this is keeping me alive so i can breathe more oxygen into my lungs
or,
i will die someday
or,
i have not been to all 50 united states
or,
people have paid me for doing what they say
or,
i don't love beer but i drink it anyway
or,
i laugh when dostoevsky or tolstoy are brought up in casual conversation but i have never read a single sentence written by either of them
or,
fleece blankets keep me warm in 30° weather
and so on
strange things that are imbued with reality but touched with just the right amount of strangeness, like somebody really agonized over skewing reality in just the right way so that the strangeness is slight but infinitely more moving when you notice it. i am positive the right things are happening to the wrong person. like these things would be normal if they were happening in the context of somebody else. and i mean "happening" like "happening to a helpless dead body." i just stand off to the side and make meek suggestions like, "hey... maybe, if it's alright with you, you could stop using my toothpaste because... it's not yours... thanks a lot..."
it's really unfathomable.
and when i think about this and realize that we all live in this strange weird connected but disassociated way on this planet and we aren't really sure how we got here, in this universe that we can't even begin to comprehend (that feeling you get when you lay under the stars at night), i can't help but feel compassion for every other microcosm out there because if there are any other truths that emcompass the breadth of our existence, i haven't discovered them yet.
even when it's just a grocery list:
oatmeal
NO.
i feel pretty guilty about it
it said:
WHERE
are You Going
to Spend
Eternity
?
[illustration of outer space representing Eternity]
other things that happened today:
a splinter
want to live
你了解嗎？
i swear these things used to happen
after 10 fruitless minutes of searching for my noncooperative laundry card i am sitting here paralyzed and unsure of myself doing nothing except
going through the motions of eating a navel orange
things are ok now